


You Will Never Be a God (Grian Angst)

by PastelPandaSammy



Series: Grian Angst [1]
Category: Hermitcraft RPF
Genre: Lots of Angst, grians having a lot of halucinations, mumbo's a little mean, ptsd i suppose, yhs sam - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-26
Updated: 2020-10-26
Packaged: 2021-03-08 19:21:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,589
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27201716
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PastelPandaSammy/pseuds/PastelPandaSammy
Summary: Grian is an aggressive gremlin, who loves to start fights. Now with the new Resistance stuff, Mumbo and iskall are uneasy, especially Mumbo.Mumbo says something that unintentionally sends Grian into having a lot of ptsd thoughts and hallucinations.It does have a happy ending tho, don't worry.
Relationships: its up to you - Relationship, meant to be platonic, no ships really - Relationship
Series: Grian Angst [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1985818
Comments: 4
Kudos: 173





	You Will Never Be a God (Grian Angst)

**Author's Note:**

> As I like to say every time, I apologize for any grammatical or spelling errors.  
> And this, of course, is based inside the hermitcraft universe, as are all my stories. It's based on the persona's not actual people
> 
> But, I seem to have a trend of Grian angst going, don't I?

Grian giggles endlessly as he stays squatted on top of his barge. He currently held a shulker of Mycelium as he looked down on the chaos below. The HEP team was fussing over all the new mycelium that’s suddenly popped up out of nowhere, along with the large abundance of animals that had filled the shopping district island. With one last laugh as Scar got spooked by a mushroom cow, he got out his rockets.

Putting the shulkerbox in his inventory Grian took off, deciding to fly back home instead of going through the nether. The whole way he couldn’t stop thinking about what he was going to do next, it was thrilling. But unlike the other scuffles he made in the past, besides the undertone of being a little sad he didn’t get mumbo to win as mayor, he wasn’t planning anything to insane, just wanting to spread the mycelium back to the district, to be an annoyance at most.

When his mansion got in view, Grian beamed seeing his two architect buddies. He dove down and landed in front of them. Looking at them, grinning. But as he went to say something, Mumbo cut him off.

“Grian, I hope you’re not busy, we need to talk” Grian closed his mouth at the very serious tone, and realized the uneasy looks in their eyes. Grian just nodded, putting his rockets away. Mumbo glanced at Iskall who nodded. So Mumbo looked fully back at Grian.

“Usually, I’d let this slide, but me and iskall have an uneasy feeling Grian” he paused.” This, this whole mycelium thing... This is the 2nd war you’ve started in the two seasons you’ve been here. And that’s not counting the other mini battles such as Area 77 and Demise.” Grian felt his stomach sink and his mouth dry. He was quick to defend himself.

“Ok, I can get that, I’ve been chaotic and had caused quite a few fights, but it isn’t like that this time guys! You gotta believe me” Grian pleads. But seeing the uneasy look in their eyes Grian continues” Seriously! I may have started the resistance, but I don’t have any ill intent, I’m just doing it to be an annoyance, Scars the one who called war!”

“After the challenge you gave us, to steal the throne” Iskall adds on” We didn’t know how far it was at that point.” Mumbo nods and ran a hand through his hair.

“And somehow, I got roped into this, and they think /I’m/ their leader!” Mumbo complained.”Cub’s been following me around all the time, just like in demise, it’s terrifying. Now False is doing it to” Mumbo grumbled, obviously upset. Iskall patted Mumbo’s shoulder and Grian looks at him guiltily, worrying his bottom lip.

“Mumbo I, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable. I’ll talk with the resistance! We’ll make a plan to get them off your back-” “No.” Grian tensed at Mumbo’s sharp tone. With an angered and stressed look, Mumbo stared at Grian.

“Enough with the resistance Grian, enough with all of this! First the Mayor thing, now this. I was ok with it at first, with the mayor thing. I got a bit iffy with Grumbot but I rolled with it. Now you’re just taking it too far. I saw the signs in the fake resistance base...” Grian stays silent as Mumbo scolded him. Grian lightly gripped onto the bottom of his sweater and nods a bit, afraid of speaking. He knew Mumbo had more to say.

Mumbo rubbed the bridge of his noes, sighing heavily” Someone has to reel you in, and usually I take responsibility for that but I’ve been to lacking on that job it seems” he stares down at Grian.”You cant keep starting all these fights, acting like you want to control everything. Yes, it may be with good intent but you still try. You /cant/ control anything you wish to, you’re...You’re not some god Grian” 

Grian’s eyes widened and he felt like he was punched in the gut, mouth slightly hanging open. ‘You’re not some god Grian’ echoed in his head. Grian tried to block it out but mumbo’s voice just kept ringing through his head, almost drowning out the two in front of him.

“G?” it was iskall. In his now very busy head, he barely registered the concerned look on Iskalls face and Mumbo who...Who was looking away, arms crossed, and looking disappointed. Grian licked his now dry lips and tried swallowing the lump in his throat.

“I...Uhm.. I’ll cut down the resistance stuff” he mumbles, fumbling to get out his rockets, missing the glance mumbo gave him” I, uh, I’m sorry, for being so intense” he laughs bitterly and turned away at the same time Mumbo turned to face him.

“Grian, I’m not saying this too-” but before Mumbo could finish, Grian was off, in the blink of an eye. Mumbo watched and felt a nervous feeling crawl up his back. Eyes saddening, he stared off where Grian went” Do...do you think I was too harsh Iskall?”

Grian grunts as he accidentally slammed into the ground upon landing. He had meant to land gracefully, like he usually does, but it didn’t end well with the echoing voices in his head. Grian knew he had to calm down, relax, and not freak out. He’s learned ways to cope with his past.

And now, he was at a gravel patch, something that had always helped him relax, grinding blocks. Wetting his cracked lips for what felt like the millionth time, Grian got out his shovel with shaky hands. Putting down a few empty shulkers, Grian glanced up, out of habit, and froze. A few feet away sat a normal bunny. Just minding its own business, eating some grass.

Suddenly, it looks up and stares at Grian. Grians breath hitched as he gripped his shovel tighter. He could have sworn he heard the bunny laugh before it turned away and hopped down the mountain. Grian shook his head, trying to calm his imagination.

Grian turned around and yelped, stumbling back into the shulkers. Before him stood Sam, the same Sadistic grin across his lips.

“Oh Gree-on, there you are,” he said in a chirpy voice, strutting over. Before Grian could scramble away, he gently cupped Grians Cheek, liting Grians head up and towards him” I’ve missed you ya’know” He coos.

Grian manages to glare at the bunny boy before him, causing Sam to tsk, and tighten his grip on Grians face, making Grian wince. “Now don’t be like that little Gree-on. Trying to be all big and tough” Sam spoke in a cooing voice at the end, then laughs a bit, shaking his head, looking at Grian with bewildered and crazed eyes “You keep forgetting Gree-on, I am your God, you will NEVER be a god.”

That made Grian snap. He shoved Sam off him, dropping everything he had, and sprints off. Grian could hear footsteps close behind him and cursed to himself. Cursed Sam and his long legs. Grian stumbles when he felt Sam grab onto his belt loop. Grian brought out his sword as instinct and quickly twisted around and swung at where the hand was, knocking his communicator out into view. 

As sam snatched his hand away, Grian took this opportunity to sprint off the mountains edge. He barely made it into the river at the bottom. Grian hit the bottom of the river with some force, not noticing his communicator falling out of his pocket as he swam up.

Grian didn’t even look back after getting out of the river. The moment his feet his solid ground Grian took of at top speed. After a good few chunks, Grian remembered he still had his elytra on. He took out his rockets and took off.

Mumbo paced around the large circle in the floor of Iskalls tree for roughly the 20th time. He had his arms folded to his chest and was gently nibbling on his finger as a nervous habit. He had messaged Grian over 20 times, with no response, they didn’t even show that they were read.

Iskall watched his friend pace around the large hole, he hadn’t bothered to stop him, knowing Mumbo was doing this to try and relax. Iskall looks up hearing rockets, hope rising in his chest. He watched as Ren and Impulse glided down into the tree and landed near the two men. But seeing their expressions, Iskall’s hope quickly burned away.

“I’m sorry dude, we can’t find him, we looked in all the resistance places, and places we thought he’d be” Ren stated, his ears going down as he looked to the side guiltily. Impulse glanced at the still pacing mumbo” We even checked some of the mining areas, he’s nowhere that we can find” When Mumbo came back into talking distance, they told him the same thing.

The three watched as Mumbo’s expression fell more than it already was. Mumbo shakily walked over to a wall and leaned back against it, sliding down till he was sitting. The other three quickly rushed over to him.

“This is my fault, I was too harsh with him” Mumbo mumbled pitifully as he covered his face with his hands, feeling a few tears he tried so hard to keep in fall. Iskall sat next to his friend, making mumbo laydown, putting Mumbo’s head in his lap. Mumbo didn’t fight against any of it.

“Don’t say that dude” Ren starts, kneeling next to him.”Grian is a tough guy, some silly words wouldn’t make him act like this. We’ll get x into this, he’ll be able to track his communicator and know he’s safe.” Ren offered.

Mumbo glanced up at Ren and nodded. Well, the best he could with Iskalls fingers running through his hair. But what Ren said ran through Iskalls head ‘some silly words wouldn’t make him act like this ‘, but Iskall remembers a certain little detail. How Grian changed in an instant, by one small phrase mumbo said… ‘You /cant/ control anything you wish to, you’re...You’re not some god Grian’ but why would it make Grian act like this? 

He looked up at Impulse who was frantically typing on his communicator, probably to Xisuma. Iskall had a bad feeling in his gut, hoping Grian was ok.

“Ok, I got his location” X states with a bit of hopefulness in his voice. The 4 other men quickly went up to him. X pointed to his hologram screen, pointing at a red dot.

“That’s his communicator, it’s near a gravel patch, it is kinda far out though” X mumbled the last part, more to himself. But Impulse took notice of something.

“Why is it in the middle of the river? At the good 30 seconds, we’ve seen it, it’s not moving either.” Everyone took attention back to the screen, Impulse was right. It wasn’t moving at all, and it was right in the middle of the river.

This made all of them go into panic mode. They quickly got the cords and shot off to the area.

Grian whimpers and sat down against the wall, shoving off his elytra. Throwing it aside, Grian got some food and munched on it. He had to land due to his wings almost braking, and he had no idea where he was, like at all. Grian grumbles to himself and reached for his communicator.

He pats down his pockets a few more times and his eyes widened” oh, No. No no no no!” Grian panicked and searched his inventory then the area around him frantically for it, but it was nowhere. Grian cursed loudly and held his hair tightly. Everything was going wrong. 

He had no wings, he didn’t have a clue where he was, now his only way to get help was gone! Taking a deep breath, and using a breathing technique he learned, Grian calmed himself down, going back over to his wings. 

He tucked them into his inventory and glazed over its contents. Grian once again felt a spike of panic, he didn’t have his ender chest, he must have left it at the gravel spot! That meant he had a limited supply of food now.

Trying to keep himself calm, Grian glanced around, on one side of him was a dark oak forest, the other side held a desert. Grian decided he’d have better chances with the forest at this point. At least in there, he had more options for supplies and shelter.

But right before he could, he turned around and bumped into something. Scrambling back, Grian tried to get a good look at what it was. Grian felt his air leave him as he kept looking up, and up, and up.

“Well, hello there little spore” a familiar echoey voice greeted him. Grian shook his head quickly and pulls out his sword, slowly walking back.

“You really think that measly piece of metal will do much damage to me?” The voice asks in a mocking tone. Grian didn’t respond only stared at them with a blank expression.

“Come now little spore, there’s no need for violence,” the motioned their hand towards Grian, and Grian yelps. He collapsed to one knee and felt the wings and halo he tries so hard to hide appear. He scowls and looks up at the purple mask that caused him so much pain.” There we go, bow down before the one who saved you.” they spoke in a bittersweet tone.

Suddenly the sword grian held glowed, and he jumped up, getting a good hit on the being before him, before backing off quickly. The being cried out an ear-piercing screech and held the wound, they glared at Grian and swung their hand, making grains sword fly away and hit the ground, then chains came up from the ground and pulled him down, holding him in a kneeling position. 

The being came over and kneels before him” Oh little spore, you may have the powers of a watcher, but you’re still so, /weak/” they hissed and grabbed Grians hair, pulling his head up so he looked at them.

“You may have our powers, but you will never be a god like us, little spore.” Grians body trembled lightly as he stared at the being. He grits his teeth and spits in their face. Making a disgusted noise, they let go of his hair and went to wipe away the spit. With this opportunity, Grian broke free of the chains and once again, fled.

Since his way to the forest was blocked, he fled into the desert. Grian spread his wings and shot off, faster than his elytra could ever take him. As he did this, he kicked up a bunch of sand, so it made a large dusty cloud, to shield the direction he went in. 

Grian could feel his heart beating out of his chest, his throat tightening and mouth feeling like desert he was flying over. He /needed/ to calm down, to chill-out. But it seemed like every time he did, something else popped up.

Back with the group of 5, they landed on the gravel patch and instantly saw Grians stuff. Mumbo went up and picked up the shovel, looking at it guiltily. Ren and Xisuma went down to the river and Iskall and Impulse comforted mumbo while looking around for anything unusual.

Soon the three were called down to the river, mumbo putting the shovel in his inventory. At the bottom of the mountain, Ren held was soaking and held an equally soaking communicator with a ‘G’ on it, this all made them uneasy.

“Good news and bad news” Ren starts, waving the communicator” Bad news, Grians nowhere to be found.” he said morbidly, making everyone else slightly cringe.”But, good news!” Ren starts “I’ve caught his sent, I know the general direction to go”

Everyone seemed to brighten at the news. With little waiting and Ren leading the way, they all took off again to find Grian.

With a sudden dip from Iskall, the group lands. The group goes to question Iskall but they see him run over to something. He then turns to them, holding a slightly flaming sword.

“That’s semi-fresh” X points out” He’s been here recently” he went over and took the sword as the others start to get excited. X scanned it and tensed.

“Nows not a time to be excited,” X said quickly and fearfully, making everyone fall silent. He turns to them “I know this looked off. It’s a normal sword, but its using Watcher Magic”

Everyone in the group tensed. Due to their pasts with Grian, they all knew he was once a watcher, and everyone knew how hard he did to try and hide it. He had never used his magic once, in all the fights and events he’s been in on the server, what was so bad that caused him to bring it out?

What the answer could be terrified everyone. Out of luck, Mumbo glanced over at the desert and something felt off.

He expressed his suspicion and impulse perked up.”Mumbo you genius! The sand has recently been kicked up! Quite a lot as well, it must have been Grian!”

Wasting no time sticking around, the 5 flew off into the desert. Impulse and Mumbo leading the group, keeping a close eye on where the sand was kicked up.

Grian coughed dryly as he sat in a newly well-lit desert temple. It was getting dark, Grian had little carrots left and no water.

As much as he hated them, Grian wrapped his wings around himself to gain warmth. He cuddled into the soft feathers and closed his eyes. That was until he heard footsteps.

Grians eyes snapped open and he looked up. He stared at the legs wearing black dress pants, and as he looked up, he was met with his mustached friend, Grian already felt tears forming. No, no he couldn’t do anything more.

“Please, dont..dont even say anything” Grians voice broke and cracked as he talked. “I, I already know what you’re going to say” Grian sobbed. Mumbo didn’t say anything, just looked at him with a disappointing stare. 

That’s what broke it for Grian. He finally started to ugly sob. As he cried, he tucked himself into his wings and the world around him disappeared. 

All the events of his past flashed through his mind. The time Sam had told him he wasn’t a god back in high school, right before he did so many unspeakable things to him. The time the watchers had him chained up, and were going to ‘teach him a lesson’ for disobeying them. And finally, the utter disappointment in mumbos voice and eyes as he spoke to him.

All scenarios were so violently different, but all hurt equally. All of them made him feel so belittled and shitty, he was slowly sinking further into his inner madness.

“There!” Impulse and mumbo yell, going over to the desert temple that was oddly illuminated in the night, that had to be where Grian was. The 5 all land and even before they were inside they could hear his cries.

Mumbo was off even before he had his footing, off to help his best friend. 

Inside, all that could be seen was a shaking ball of purple feathers in the corner, the sobbing coming from inside. Mumbo stumbles over and fell onto his knees beside Grian.

The others quickly rushed inside. They watched as Mumbo stroked Grians wings. They saw his mouth moving but couldn’t hear what he was saying, well Ren could, but he was still equally as confused.

The wings tremble more but seem to fall a little, a very distressed and crying Grian poked his head out, the halo shining brightly. The others came over and sat in a semi-circle around Grian. But Grian didn’t seem to notice, his eyes seemed dazed and unfocused.

But that didn’t stop the group of 5, they all were determined to help out their winged friend in any way they could.

It was a good couple of days later. Grian was currently huddled under a blanket on a very large bed. One one side of him was mumbo, holding onto him as if he didn’t Grian would run away or disappear again, the other side was Scar, who grian held onto.

After getting to Grian, the group managed to calm him down, but that only resulted in him passing out. So they all took him back to his mansion, making a makeshift room and laying down a rather large bed. That night all of them slept together, watching over Grian. 

The next morning a few other hermits had questions, after all, 6 people up and leaving and not answering their communicators was quite a suspicious action. So without telling too much about Grians privacy, they had told the server what had happened. And rightfully so a few people freaked out.

Scar especially dropped everything, his projects, the whole HEP business, and went to Grians side. After all, he and mumbo were probably the closest to the builder.

And though it may have not been the happiest of endings, Grian still in his panicked haze days later. Grian knew he was safe with the people around him, they took care of him.

And they made sure to keep most shades of purple and bunnies far away from Grian during this time.


End file.
